Star Wars Plot:
by Nolan Faber
1) BB-8 escapes Storm Troopers and the Bad Guy
2) His poppa tries to escape but Bad Guy gets him
3) A nice storm trooper helps him escapes Bad Guy's house in space
4) BB-8's dad and nice storm trooper crash and nice storm trooper escapes the sinking sand
5) BB-8 is almost captured but REY (the best person ever) helps him escape the elephant and the bad guys who want him in the tent
6) Nice storm trooper and REY and BB-8 (!!!) escape the tents and the bombs
7) They escapes in outer space from the bomb planes and fire
8) They hide because they can't escape when Chewbaca shows up with his dad
9) All of them escape the bad guys [gangs] and the sea monsters in the ship
10) All of them escape to the temple with the frog lady
11) Good storm trooper escapes that place because he wants to get away
12) Rey gets afraid and her and BB-8 escape into the forest
Intermission (potty break)
13) Chewbaca, his daddy and good storm trooper try to escape the Bad Guy and storm troopers
14) BB-8's daddy is BACK!! [that's how they escape]
15) Bad Guy makes it so that Rey can't escape, though. She's with him in his house in space in the scratchy chair.
16) SHE ESCAPES
17) Good storm Trooper, Chewbaca and his daddy find her to help her escape even better.
18) Bad Guy starts doing REALLY bad stuff so that no one can escape
19) Rey scratches him and fights his sword bad enough that she can escape with good storm trooper
20) They escape back to the good house not in outer space but not Chewbaca's dad and where is BB-8's dad? Oh, he was escaping blowing things up in his plane. He's a pilot.
21) Rey goes to find Luke...who ESCAPED for a LONG time. He's the best at escaping. Everyone escaped, yay! I don't like the big giant guy or the "half portions" guy and I'm glad Rey escaped him too.
Quite the conspiracy. I wasn't sure if you all were ready for it. But yes, indeed, that is the subtext. It's the hidden plot. It isn't about the midichlorians, the light and darkness inside all of us... it's about people going from one place to another escaping, hiding, escaping and not escaping. Is this really worth all our money? All our excitement? All our support? We must be drones, afterall. Oh wait, Nolan has one more thing to add: